Spring’s Breakout Trend: Lederhosen…?

Ya Dahling!

 

 I’ve said before, “fashion is art”, but sometimes, art is stupid.  Like the guy who sculpted a bas-relief of the Virgin Mary using elephant dung, or the very special artiste in Scotland who received an Arts Council grant to put a banana (not a sculpture, a Chiquita) on a gallery’s display pedestal, where lucky witnesses of his “performance art” marveled as… it sat there and rotted.     

 When it comes to the leather shorts trend, seen everywhere from runway to high street, I’m forced to call a spade a spade.  Or a spade of elephant poop, in this case… The first thing this pracitcality-challenged garment brings to mind is that wretched feeling of siting on hot leather car seats in the summer- sweaty thighs stuck to the upholstery the giant band-aid like pain when you get out.  I can’t imagine wearing that around all day, on my own ass no less.     

Then there is the famous “Friends” episode, where Ross’ leather pants shrink due to heavy perspiration, ruining his date and forcing him to return home sans pants and coated in baby powder.  Doesn’t make me want to jump on the leherhosen band wagon either!  Even if one happened to reside in a Scandinavian country, where sweating is hardly an issue unless one is running away from a polar bear,  it’s hard to conceive that the Alpine look would be a. feasible  enough to wear, or b. remotely flattering (especially those lovely pleat-front versions).     

Every season, we never lack a plethora of absurd “hot trends”, but this time around I think something smells fishy, and it isn’t the caviar!  So what could be behind the fashion illuminati’s industry wide backing of ‘lorts‘?     

Answer: Profit with a capital P!     

Sources tell me that the normal markup on women’s retail clothing is about 50%, except for leather goods, whose price can be jacked upwards of 70%.  It’s common knowledge that the garment retail sector has been hit particularly hard by the recession; with consumers spending less on elective purchases.  This may be a sly ploy to drive up lagging profit margins by convincing women that the ‘it’ item of spring/summer 10 is a piece of clothing with the largest spread between cost and profit.       

Coincidence?     

I think not!      

So maybe I’m a paranoid conspiracy theorist, but the fashion industry is a business, at the end of the day, and thus driven by profiting off our foolish urge to be au courant.  Don’t fall for it!  Do yourself, your wallet and your backside’s perceived size a favor,  just say no to lederhosen. 

Alexander Wang: barely covers butt, for the price of $952.

  

Thakoons' "Denim Effect" frump chic only $1220... or you could get the same unflattering cut at Goodwill in real denim!

Joie Dempsey: Koolats meet S&M can be yours for the low price of $325!